Left of Center: By Yukkione: You'll have to fashion your own marital aids in South Carolina
You'll have to fashion your own marital aids in South Carolina
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Time : 6:28 PM

South Carolina may be joining a list of States that bans the sale of sex toys. You heard right, sex toys. Ol' Doc Johnson might be packing his bags and moving on if Christocratic legislators get their way. People convicted under obscenity laws face up to five years in prison and a $10,000 fine. It seems other states have laws similar to the one being considered in SC. Among these are Texas, Georgia and Alabama. Apparently in Alabama Cucumbers can only be sold pre-cut or pickled, and Passion Fruit has to be renamed The Passion of the Christ Fruit. South Carolinians may be forced to order their dildos online from Canada, though our government has floated stories of fake dildos to scare people from ordering. Sharon Smillburg of Turnupville SC said “ They can take my Dildo when they pry it from my cold dead fingers!” Read more here.

posted by Yukkione at 6:28 PM | Permalink |

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Comments for You'll have to fashion your own marital aids in South Carolina
now i'll have to go dig up (so to speak) my old listing of the

100 reasons WHY a cucumber is better than a man.......

thanks a lot

(and i know it's been linked to before but do THESE count as 'sex-toys' or are they religious objects???? divine interventions

I've read that .. hehe but a cucumber wont get you a glass of wine afterwards or snuggle with you.. You need a woman for that. ha! As to those sacred relics..hmm The Budda looks like a challenge. Best tryed in the Lotus postion.

Maybe them South Carolinians think sex toys are for kids to play with. Just further proof that the religious right is taking America into a new dark ages.

No one enforces these laws down here. There are adult play 'n porn stores everywhere, strip clubs galore, swappers clubs out in the open, soddam and gommorrha, and that's just down at the local church.

Depends on what's defined as a sex toy. I've been called a sex toy.
It's been a while though. The old batteries are running down.

Oh sweet Jesus... this sounds exactly like those ridiculous anti sodomy laws that 24 (I think?) states have on the books. Interestingly enough, sodomy is given the VERY LOOSE interpretation of: Any deviant sexual act, often deemed so because such does not lead to procreation. Hmm... so since sex toys cannot lead to impregnanting a female, is that the REAL issue here?

The best chart I ever saw was in the back of Peter McWilliams' book "Ain't Nobody's Business if Ya Do" which listed all of the consensual "crimes" state by state. The "crimes" ranged from living together without being married to anal sex between heterosexuals to oral sex between homosexuals... all of it is just beyond ridiculous.

Perhaps if a few of these uptight freaks got a good head job or had their salads tossed they might not spend so much time worrying what others do in the bedroom, eh?

..... and yes Left of Center... the salads tossed remark was in honor of you.

Why thank you! I see you lurking at Neils too. :P

amazing ... like time is reversed in some places ... in some places it is illegal to sell a "dildo," but legal to sell a marital aid ... if dildos are outlawed only outlaws will have dildos ... will some say ... "when they pry it from my cold dead hand ..." outlawing dildos would purge the whitehouse and much of the halls of congress ... and substantiallyl clear the supreme court bench however ...

There is such a thing as a baby Jesus butt plug? Now I have heard of everything.

warning! shameless self-promotion

i made my first movie. it is two minutes long

watch it here. http://tinyurl.com/fo6yk

or download perfect quality here..


Well thank goodness they are cleaning things up. When they take care of this dildo problem, then they can deal with the less pressing problems like poverty.

They WILL have to pry them from our cold dead fingers.Oh who am I kidding? I don't have those but still- for the record I demand my right to perhaps buy them! Wearing, um, sunglasses. And a nun habit...a wig. A clown nose.

Did somebody say Lotus?
  • Posted at 7:54 AM | By Anonymous Elizabeth Branford

SC, AL, and GA rank number 4, 5, and 7 in national infant mortality.

But, yeah, I can see why these legislatures would spend their time on such pressing matters as sex toy prohibitions. I mean you gotta set your priorities...


Don't get too used to your cucumber...they'll ban phalic shaped veggies next...then they'll start chopping off fingers!

Men are monstrous fools!

no sopranos posting?

This kinda law was in Texas briefly. For a brief period under our current crazy christian governor(here's hoping for change in November) there were a couple of high profile "raids."


OMG rose I total forgot the Sopranos post. I've been recovering from my back problem and the heavy painkillers I was taking. To say I've been in a foul mood the last few days would be an understatement. (withdrawl from two weeks of pain killers?) I havent been sleeping well either as a result. I will add the post though and thanks for the reminder.

I bet there'll be a run on spatulas, dowels, and hammers... just you watch.

This is funny.

I bet there'll be a run on spatulas, dowels, and hammers... just you watch.

I don't even want to know...

spatulas, dowels, and hammers Oh my!
spatulas, dowels, and hammers Oh my!

hmmm, does that ban include blow up dolls? because I have this friend......

guess I'd better hide away all my candles...

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